Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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