..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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