Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am one with the molecules
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
