We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
