We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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