Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
did you just send me my own nude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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