Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
