Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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