the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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