he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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