I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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