new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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