Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
