Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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