actually, I'm a sock model
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
