i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
