You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize