we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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