i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
