This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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