I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
