i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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