I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
