I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was confusing and full of hummus
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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