Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
