If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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