HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
