No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
