just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
