i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
