You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
