goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
