with your own penis?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Reggie can tackle my bush.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
