you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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