I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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