Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
