i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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