If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
