He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
