the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What a dumb baby whore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
