once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
