Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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