You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do vagina's smell?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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