so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
