Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Who died my cat blue again?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
