Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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