my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize