you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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