Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Boobs speak an international language.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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