Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
