Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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