I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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