My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize