I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm jealous of your bromance
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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