walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize