So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize