i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
