I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
