are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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