Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
