Kiss
Puke
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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