Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize