Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
