My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I need help removing her.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
