that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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