she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
