So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
