like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
