shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize