my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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