idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
