I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
