Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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