i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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