Pappa wants mamma naked
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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