I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
