new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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