Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
