Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
