so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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