I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
