Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
