Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
