We need to rekindle our bromance
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
