I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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