remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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